Truth Wins

The reality we want to be and the reality that is, is the difference between a life that’s lived and a life that’s lost in the endless “what if’s” and “someday’s”. There is so much that seems almost real under the surface but the truth is in the fruit, in the product of hearts, our words, and our actions. Seeing a glimpse of something that may be eventually, as opposed to seeing something that is not now. It takes digesting the truth of the real reality even when it doesn’t settle. Revealing the unhealthy thoughts and feelings. The questions, and the motives, which have crept their way through the cracks. The sweltering heat of a heart that hopes for its answer. To see looking into it a new reality, a new perspective, a transformed spirit- one that longs, that feels, that holds a depth only He can possess, a soul that’s alive. A healing inconceivably vast that could only come from the one who knows no end himself. That reality we live for, it waits for our company. It whispers into the places hidden, pushed away by continuous pain, disintegrated ambition and worn out passion. Where apathy consumes the drive, tenderness becomes rigid, and warmth is now frosted. Almost silently there is a cry from within.

A chance for hope in His gentle voice, asking if you’re ready?

I’m waiting for you. Will you join me?

The journey of restoration, a piece that is only the beginning. 

He restores. He gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist. 

I desire to live a life that is always crying out for more but that is satisfied in Him. Expecting and praying BIG but counting the blessings of the small everyday victories and truths. Constantly looking and living in the supernatural even while walking out the mundane. Never forgetting the HOPE I’ve been given in Christ, to live life abundantly, seeking His kingdom, speaking His truth and loving well. My circumstances may not be ideal or even what I would want all the time. A down fall of being a dreamer is placing the dream above its Author. My mind has been so caught up in what my purpose is and what I long for that I sometimes lose sight of WHO HE IS and the truth that getting lost in Him and seeking FIRST the kingdom of God is of far more significance. If only I can live a life that is worthy of the calling of Christ Jesus daily, right where I am, wherever that may be, knowing all other things will be added. I struggle with this and feel that there are many seasons in my life where I have to remind myself of this truth. Maybe its because I moved around so much this summer or maybe its because I just didn’t want to let it sink in but reverse culture shock is just now setting in. I’m crashing into the realities of being back in America and having to face the “adult” life while feeling as if I’m being trapped by the “normal”.  Through resting in His truth and His ever-abundant grace I have been awakened to the fact that I choose my attitude. There is a season for all things but if my heart, mind and motive are only on their top game when I’m resting in a season of what I call adventure or what feels ideal then I’m saying that my constant God is not so constant. That He changes, when in reality its ME that changes. How great is it to reflect on what He’s done in my life over the last year alone and to see the fruit of His blessings and power. But why do I doubt that He is the same today when I’m jobless, and slightly clueless as to how to turn my passions into a reality.  Where direction doesn’t always seem clear and everyday is a question of what now? He’s done it before. HE can and is able. He is living and moving and seeking those who will follow Him. I hope to always answer that call even when it doesnt look the way I imagined, knowing He is alive everyday in everything. 

So today I count my blessings and I sing with thanksgiving to a God who is above all and in all. Who sent His son to come and die for my sin but not ending the story there, He ROSE again and was RESURRECTED from the grave and now sits at the right hand of the Father. Allowing anyone who believes to be transformed and restored. To be pure and in right standing with the Almighty. When I think of that kind of love and that kind of power my soul truly comes alive despite circumstance or season. Dancing in his joy and celebrating this truth, praying to be reminded daily of just how precious this gift is we carry and how great a responsibility we've been given in Christ! What He has done for us let us do for others. 

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities- all things were created through Him and for Him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together." 

"To them God choose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of this glory of the mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory."

Truth wins

Unwavering Faith

Unwavering: steady, fixed, resolute, resolved, firm, constant, steadfast, enduring, abiding, unswerving, unfaltering, untiring, tireless, indefatigable, unyielding, relentless, sustained.

“And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen.” Matthew 21:21

“So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish and confess and our acknowledgement of it, for He Who promised is reliable (sure) and faithful to His word." Hebrews 10:23 (AMP)

“Therefore, [inheriting] the promise is the outcome of faith and depends [entirely] on faith, in order that it might be given as an act of grace (unmerited favor), to make it stable and valid and guaranteed to all his descendants--not only to the devotees and adherents of the Law, but also to those who share the faith of Abraham, who is [thus] the father of us all.

17  As it is written, I have made you the father of many nations. [He was appointed our father] in the sight of God in Whom he believed, Who gives life to the dead and speaks of the nonexistent things that [He has foretold and promised] as if they [already] existed. 

18  [For Abraham, human reason for] hope being gone, hoped in faith that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been promised, So [numberless] shall your descendants be. 

19  He did not weaken in faith when he considered the [utter] impotence of his own body, which was as good as dead because he was about a hundred years old, or [when he considered] the barrenness of Sarah’s [deadened] womb. 

20  No unbelief or distrust made him waver (doubtingly question) concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God,

21  Fully satisfied and assured that God was able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He had promised.

22  That is why his faith was credited to him as righteousness (right standing with God).

23  But [the words], It was credited to him, were written not for his sake alone,

24  But [they were written] for our sakes too. [Righteousness, standing acceptable to God] will be granted and credited to us also who believe in (trust in, adhere to, and rely on) God, Who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead,

25  Who was betrayed and put to death because of our misdeeds and was raised to secure our justification (our acquittal), [making our account balance and absolving us from all guilt before God].” Romans 4: 16-25

“Unwavering faith has the power to enable us in the fulfillment of our God given destiny and purpose. What could it cost us if we fail to trust God today?”

Unwavering Faith.  

Two words, baring as a constant reminder of the things I’ve yet to obtain and reflecting on the proof of who Jesus is in His promise. How much do I really trust Him? And is it enough to throw everything I am, all that I have onto him daily believing and having faith in the promises of God despite how the circumstances may seem?

Fear has presented itself in my life and felt almost overwhelming at times. My issue is, I often don’t recognize it as fear until I’m reflecting on the anxiousness of my heart. How did it get there? Where did it come from? And I’m finding that it is a direct result of fear in my life, which has lead to irrational behaviors or inconsistent actions. Causing me to grip for anything I can trying to grab onto a false sense of security.  Luckily we serve a gracious and merciful Father who gently woke me up this morning speaking his truth and reminding me of His grace over my life.  

When I think of Abraham and his circumstances I am dumbfounded by his response of faith. He was promised to be the father of THE NATIONS, a lineage that would change the world forever. With his circumstances piled against him he never weakened in faith but grew strong and empowered by faith, believing, giving glory and praise to God, that God was ABLE to do what He had promised. The outcome of his faith leaving him in right standing with God, something that we are able to have today when we too believe.

My circumstances are nothing compared to Abrahams, but life throws each of us things we may not feel ready for, “overwhelming obstacles” that create in us an emotional response of fear. But Praise God that he is not intimidated or weakened by our circumstances. That He is the eternal strength of His people, granting grace and favor, walking side by side in His relentless love.

His grace is sufficient and in Him He has made us to have life abundantly. In His love there is no fear, there is promise, hope and faithfulness. He is faithful in His word and is able to do what He has spoken. His power is ours to walk in, to love through, to be lead by, if only we would open our eyes to see that those mountains we face are nothing compared to our God. 

It is my prayer to carry and walk in unwavering faith, challenging life’s circumstances with the promises of God, glorifying and praising Him. Resting in a place of just being and knowing that there is a season for all things but my God NEVER changes. 

Time Standing Still, yet the World Moves so Quickly..

There is joy in knowing I am His and He is mine. Comfort I can only find in His arms and in His will. To know and to serve. To be loved with such a power that even in my darkest state, my rebellion, my vanity and my pride He still penetrates and covers. This kind of power is matchless and it is what I live in, through and for. I promised myself I wouldn't cry until I had taught my last class this afternoon but I knew I needed one more blog before I left Huangshi. So now the tears are flowing and probably wont stop but I had to share what the Lords been doing in my heart today. I have pushed off the reality of goodbye for the past month and now here I am, packed sitting in an empty apartment and feeling overwhelmed with emotion. Tears of joy mixed with tears of parting sorrow, I sit and all I can do is praise. Who am I? Who am I that I would be blessed with the privilege of living, knowing and loving these wonderful people? I came here not knowing what to expect and I am leaving with a heart that is overflowing.. The last year of my life has been a constant web of crazy events that have humbled, taught, and changed me. Why is it only in goodbye that we take the time to reflect on what was carried in the "hellos"?
Processing what has happened in my heart and in my life over the last ten months will take time. But one thing I do know is that I have been blessed beyond understanding. Experiencing the love of an eternal Father through living in a place that has now become like a second home. China and its people are forever stamped on my heart. I have no question this is not the end. For I know His love knows no bounds.. it knows no distance. And even though I have to say goodbye for now I know that the heart He has given me and the relationships He's set apart will remain. I know that He has a plan and a journey.. that this is only the beginning of something greater. So I look forward not in despair or in sorrow but with hope and excitement. Being here, I now know the reality of a life without a Savior. A world that seems backwards to what we know in our large communities in the US. Here I have learned how love speaks, not only in words, actually hardly in words, but in time and in action. The fruit of your life and your heart reveal themselves and in Him are set apart. If we abide in Him, He abides in us and that truth reveals itself in who we are. How we move, how we speak, and how we react.
I have found the abundance of His grace in the reality of my failure. How to make mistakes and then laugh in the joy of His love.
Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love.  ~George Eliot 

These dear children and sweet friends will never fully understand the joy and the impact they've had on my life. So for now I leave you with some pictures of the faces that have changed my life and have stolen my heart. I promise to update on all the final events and to share more reflection/photo's of the last few months once I am back and settled. I owe so much of who I am to those who have supported, loved and encouraged me. For those people I am forever grateful!

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

"I will bless the Lord at all times;

His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

² My soul will make its boast in the Lord;

The humble will hear it and rejoice.

³ O magnify the Lord with me,

And let us exalt His name together." 

“ Therefore I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the nations,
And I will sing praises to Your name."


He is faithful. 
He is good.
Always.